Easier said than done

I really need to buck up. It's hard you know, I'm use to having things going my way. But now, it's like my work didn't pay off. As my father said, results depends on luck too. Well I know Maths has never been my forte but it's depressing to see your not improving. I did improve after the third test but it felt lucky. Sigh. The worst part is I'm not working hard now. I felt the disappointment of failure, and it sucks. I kept thinking to myself, if you're working and failing, you might as well not try at all; the results stay the same.


 I know it's wrong, and I know many would say just study hard, you can do it. You see, it is easier said than done. Maybe my moping period has been long overdue, and I really hope it is not too late to pick myself up. I pray to God help me, but sometimes I feel like I only call on God when I'm in trouble. So I hoped and I pray that I would always praise Him. And I have caused my family a lot of pain, especially my parents. I've been impatient, and I hope God would give me the patience when I feel like I'm about to explode. As you can see, my life is turning up side down. I hope this will end soon, I pray that next year would be better. Yeah so I wrote this post to basically remind me that I'm very fortunate, and I should treasure every moment. I also have  to learn to forgive and let go. Never hold grudges, and always try to mend things when you're at fault.

Wohoo, go mature me! Haha it's funny, I feel like I'm still the same 15 year old girl who started this blog. And I think I haven't changed that much. Maybe that's my problem, I'm far too childish. But I don't want to grow up. Let's see how future me would be. I really can't imagine myself as a grown up. I still look like I'm 12 so yeah.

Henry so cute :3 hehe

These guys are just exploding with energy. Too bad I can't go to Dartmouth because I'm just too bloody lazy, and I should've worked harder. This is one of the sorrows I've been nursing. Yeah it pains me when people are like, why aren't you applying to this this uni? And I'm like well lady cause my brain can only go so far. Okay I won't say that, but people should stop asking that question. I realized the work you have to put in to go into these school, I underestimated it and I deserve the punishment. But maybe it is a blessing in disguise. But anyways, for people who didn't get Ivy league or feel you're not good enough, don't ever say that. It is hard work and luck. And I don't think people really know how hard the application is. So to my fellow people who are applying to the US, I feel ya bro. I feel ya.