Saturday, February 25, 2012

Some days stay golden

We started in the morning, drove up the the hill. Excitement was the only thing I felt.

The best concert I went to was The Click Five in Genting, I don't know how many times I have mentioned this but it's true! I liked the fact, it was just me and my parents. I had my own hotel room. And the affogato after the concert was nice.

Good memories are painful.

Friday, February 17, 2012

You think capitalism is evil, procrastination is worse.

 Dear blog,
this week has been one of the shi*tiest week. I did not believe that Spring semester would be so hectic, but I feel like I had mountains of homework this week. I think it was just me and my procrastination. I am the KING of procrastination and no one can compete.

But my procrastination has been pushed to the limits. I will finish my work a day before the presentation, like at 3 a.m. It affected my health until I had a fever. But sadly I couldn't even take a day off because of all the work. Usually I won't feel the effects of my procrastination, because in the end my work will be finish and the cycle continues. But today was different, I certainly learnt the value of time. I really did.

I had an economics assignment due today at 12. I thought I had the time in the world since I finish class on Thursday at 12, so I had like an evening. But me and my wandering internet fingers were watching videos until 10 o'clock at night. So then panic sets in, and I like fumbling to finish an essay about capitalism, which I knew nothing about. I was so stressed out that my head was throbbing, and I had to call it quits at 2 a.m.

The next day I woke up 8 30 a.m., there I go typing for my life. I didn't have time to mend my first paper! Oh I am just so disappointed with myself. I have been letting myself down a lot. Because I know I should have tried harder. But I thought even though I rushed but my second paper turned out well if I say so myself. BUT I HAD ACCIDENTLY CLOSE MY WORK WITHOUT SAVING IT. All I could mumble to myself was "Fuck." Oh I was just numb by then. But instead of crying and calling my dad, I finally just suck it up and type what ever I remember.

After that, I saved whatever new paragraph I did. Paranoid. Forever. God certainly taught me a lesson here. OH gosh, one that I won't forget. I really hope I didn't screw up my grades.

Do you ever hate yourself? I have, sometimes I'm even sicked of myself. Sick and tired of being too darn emotional. Sick and tired of being useless and spoilt. I am rotten. But I guess I am being a bit harsh. No I'm not going to kill myself, I'm trying to change, I'm trying to be less bitter. I know some don't believe that somethings are just hard to change, well my disposition is just that. It's really hard.