Marmalade

2011 was not so kind. Kind of bipolar.

But everything has to end, means the bad will end.

Lets pray for a better year.

I've been hearing the songs that I like in Korea lately. It cheered me up.

And this song is the perfect song for me to listen on the last day of 2011.

And yes I did hear it on an Apple advert

Messy

I wish I was organized, or had a mild OCD. Mind you I said MILD. Not like Adrian Monk level, more like I will clean and arrange stuff when I see clutter. But me being the average teen, clutter seems inseparable from me.

Lately, I've been posting unbelievable emo post. And this is another one, haha. No, I'm not depress (maybe?) I kid! I'm just disappointed that's all, perfectly normal right?

I've been having issues, and it's not those relationship kind of issue because I gave up on love way long ago. Pssh duh. I've been feeling invisible. Not that I want attention from everybody, because I don't care if they notice me. I feel invisible with people I'm closest to. I know they care about me but sometimes I just want them to listen. I've been ranting to my dad all the time, and I know he feels stressed as much as I do so now I don't tell him my true feelings anymore. He is the only one who actually listens to me but I don't want to be a burden to him anymore. I can't really turn to my friends, I don't think they know how to react as well. I don't even know how to comfort myself! So yeah here I am alone. As usual.

I'm inconsolable!! (Backstreet boys reference there FYI) haha.

And I've been praying to God asking Him to show the right path for me, but God works in subtle ways so I have to wait and see.

I haven't been treating Jude the way he deserves to be treated. I am such a bad owner. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME! I'm impossible I tell you. *shakes head*

Stubborn as stubborn can be.

I am stubborn. It can be a good thing, it can also be a horrible trait. Mostly it is a vice for me.

Don't you feel some things are fated. Like how a name of a place is stuck in your head. And you think, this place is perfect for me. In addition,current events lead you up to it, and you think to yourself I'm closer to my dream. Of course life being life is not easy. Obstacles are hurled in your way. You're beaten, bruised and your vital signs are going off but there's still a glimmer of hope. A surgery that would lead you back to your normal or even better life. Though the chances are slim to none for you to survive it, but there is a CHANCE!

I'm willing to put all my effort for this to happen but I just need one more sign. If I did get the green light, another choice must be made.

Oh what is life but heartaches.

I don't want to sound like an ungrateful b*tch but it's hard not to. Believe me I am very grateful but I am still human and I still have that stubbornness in me that won't let me back down.

A loophole

But is it worth it?
The chances are slim to none.
I know it's always been my motto to just go for it.
But now I really have to take into consideration whether it is worth my time.
I'm torn!!

It's 3 o'clock in the morning

I realized that I used to be a really emotional person. If you think I'm emotional now, you should have seen how I was when I was kid. Yes I know I'm still a kid to some people, but I'm an adult by law even if my face is stuck in the tween stage. When I was little, I use to be really how should I say, 'gedik' is the malay term in english, hurm 'bimbotic' in a sense. I was a girly girl. Loved all the princess thingy, pink and BLAH you named it.

 In primary school I remembered I wanted to be liked and to be popular and all. So I hanged with the 'cool' kids for awhile and then they just decided to kicked me out. I was disposable. I can't remember whether I was hurt, frankly I don't remember anything in primary school life. I didn't have a long lasting friendships in school; I had my neighborhood friends. I was a too good of a friend and people had took advantage of my friendship. I guessed after that I started to be more picky about friends. Not sure though, because I'm not scarred by any memories or betrayed so badly that I want to die.But I was very loyal to my friends.

And now popularity means nothing to me, I cringe at remembering my shallow 9 year old self. But I was 9! Now I can positively say that I am very happy with how I pick my friends. I am friends with people generally but I have few close friends. And I like being my awkward self though I need to work on my confidence but that could improve! Right? Right?! I'm not into all the pinks anymore, now I'm really a tom boy haha. Even though I might be the most coward tomboy ever. I talk the talk but I really don't walk the walk.HAH.What you see is what you get. I'm sometimes nice but I can be mean. Like any other person I had my good and bad days. I hope to relinquish the negatives, so if I ever did anything bad or said something that hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, I really am.

I actually didn't want to sleep, so I wrote this post.

Everyday I'm Tumblin.

The Dartmouth Aires has their own album, they released it by themselves before the sing-off. So me being their kinda creepy fan went to iTunes and listened to their preview. It was better than I expected. I really want their album now HAHA. But I must restrain, because 1. mainly because I don't have an iTunes account  2. this is insane.

And Henry's solo in 'Brand New Jones' SICK! *in a hip cool way* I prefer his voice in that track than 'All At Sea'. Man if they recorded the 'Remix to Ignition' the newer one MAN. MAN. That would really make me want to buy.

I'm not gonna be blogging for awhile due to unstable mental state, DID JA KNOW I HAVE TUMBLR
CLICKITY CLICK THERE >Butterflies & Hurricane

Baking Omen

I've been dabbling in baking lately due to my boredom. I baked some cinnamon twists and apple tarts, albeit it wasn't perfect it was not bad. I was determine to bake an apple strudel with custard. 

I am not familiar with the kitchen AT ALL. My mother was upstairs so I was alone in the kitchen. BAD IDEA. After my hard labor of love cooking my apple filling, it was time for my custard. I randomly took a bowl which I thought was fine, oh I was wrong. I asked my dad to light the fire with the bowl on. My dad also didn't suspect anything wrong with it. And I was vigorously stirring the custard so it won't curdle "BANG" the whole pot just exploded; I'm not exaggerating. It was CRACK POOF. I was in shock, luckily I had some sense to close the gas. 

I am so grateful that I wasn't hurt. That really shook me, but I will still continue to bake tomorrow. Of course with fire proof pots. At least I learnt something. Oh gosh, that was just terrible.

Came down, looked around.

Feeling down again, for no reason, I seriously think I'm bipolar or suffer from depression. Okay, I'm not suffering from those two. I think. Felt like blogging my emotions again. Don't read this, this is just me venting out my frustrations.

Sigh, I realized that there will never be a break anymore now. Sure during school, I can just spend my holidays doing unproductive activities but now it's not the same. I have a crap load of work to do. And my brain is cluttered up with all these tiny important information and I just want to throw all these papers away.

And why I'm here talking nonsense on my post, well because I don't have anyone else to talk to about. I feel like I'll annoy people. So here I can whine what ever I want. Hah. All I want is someone to just hear me complain and give me a hug. I just want a freaking HUG, is that so hard. Just one stupid hug with a "I know you can do it" in a convincing tone. I should just say it to myself. PFBBBTT

I really don't know what to do now, I have no clue what I'm suppose to do. I feel like everything is just a mess. And I don't have time to clean it up! I'm freaking out, it's amazing that I'm quite sane. Quite. For how long?

Why does everything that I want seem so far, no matter how much I tried. It sucksssssssssss that you can't have it. Ugh, I should start an EMO band or something, yeah! And write songs about my pathetic lonely life spent in front of a computer.

My first hit would be 'Wasting the Day Away'  Gosh I'm SO GOING TO BE FAMOUS FOR THAT.

I hate being obsessed D: I HATE IT, why can't I be obsess with studying HUH HUH. I tell you I am program  to be a remarkably average teen. Even my cat is more accomplished than me.

I should really deactivate my facebook, I really am tempted too, maybe next spring. Damn, but all the info I need is there UGH. I should check my facebook like I check my emails.

YEAH, watch me be inactive in facebook, YOU WATCH.


That's enough, before I spill my deep dark secrets, which I don't have really. A 3 year old kid has a darker secret than me.

Bye. Put a smile on yer face :)

Procrastinate is I

I felt like doing this type of survey which was the 'it' thing during the Myspace times. I felt like answering questions cause I don't have anyone to talk to now :\ I am pathetic.


Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
Hmm, yes. You could make a stupid comment and I'll smile.


Tell me why you like the last song you listened to?
It's pretty and simple. Has that nostalgic feeling to it, very emotional.

What color are your eyes?
It's black, yeap, typical Asian color. Well it's actually this mucky brown like mud. Charming eh?

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Sofa, always the sofa.


How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
One, my dad.


What would your name be without the first three letters?
Lina! HAHA Awesome B)


Last thing you touched not computer-related?
SAT Math Workbook, phail Asian right here, can't do simple arithmetic :| HEH


What colors are you wearing right now?
Black and purple.


You currently in a fight with someone?
Not that I know off? I'm pretty cool with everyone.


Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Nope, don't want to meddle with people's business.


Do you have an older brother?
Yes, dos actually, which means 2.


Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
YES! At one time I thought I was going to die from the lack of air.


Do you look at the keyboard when you type?
Sometimes, for password :)


What are you listening to right now?
The great sound of nothing with earphones in my ears. I just like to put it on and not play anything...yeah. Ok now I'm gonna put something on. Mutemath - Spotlight, there ya go!


Do you laugh a lot?
Yes :|


Are you ticklish?
Yes, but I don't like being tickled at all and I get angry and paranoid if someone did.


What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Recite all the things I am grateful for.


Have you ever been on a boat?
I'm on a boat mutha-- yeah.


Last person you gave a hug to?
Not sure, I rarely hug. One of my friends OH! Ok I don't know.


Tell me about the shirt/shirts you’re wearing?
It's a shirt I bought at Movie World at Gold Coast, OZ. It has Marvin the Martian, and it's huge. I like how huge face or lack of it is plastered BAM in front.


When you are home alone do you still close the door when you shower?
My bathroom is in my room, I almost always never close the door. Like double security? No thank you, I am so bad ass B)


Do you have plans for today?
Nah, I go with the flow. ( I actually have no friends to hang out with and my family doesn't like to hang with me either) 


When is the last time you took a nap?
A week ago maybe, I don't like naps.


What was on your mind most today?
SAT, and how I can't do bad this time and yes university applications.


Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
I don't hide them but I don't talk about it. Does that make sense?Yes it does.


What instant messaging service do you use?
It used to be MSN, but then Facebook chat came. TARAA


How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
Depends on how tired I am. Ranges from a split second to hours of rolling in the bed.


Do you have any siblings? Do you get along?
Yes, this is kind of redundant. We tolerate each other.


What are you drinking?
Long Island Tea ;)  I kid, I'm not having a sip of fluid, currently.


Honestly, if you could go back 8 months and change something, would you?
Study more? Well if you asked 4 months then yes.


Do you know what you’re wearing tomorrow?
NO. Like heckk, I'm just going to stay at home. Oh wait, yeah I know what I'm wearing tomorrow, sadly.


Do you know anyone who smokes weed?
Yes, but I don't if that person smokes at a regular basis.


Did you get this quiz from www.FunQuizNotes.com ?
HO-YEAH.




I'm done :O That was---a waste of time but I am utterly satisfied in a guilty pleasure way.

People Y U NO WRITE?

So I'm looking at the blogs I follow, and most are yeap dead. But I don't blame them, my blog has been in a coma too and why I'm reviving it is mostly because I am procrastinating, HEHEHEH. Anyways, on my many occasions of pondering about deep serious issues, I wondered about the different types of people. This is based on personal experience and I am not a psychologist so yes, this is from  the observation of an 18 year old girl.

I am a person who gets easily freaked by crowds; I loathe public speaking. Every time, I have to speak in class, even though I know these people, my stomach turns into knots. I don't know why my anxiety acts up. Maybe it's my self-esteem, but not really because I am comfortable with myself. I am quirky and some people might not like it, I accept. Maybe I'm very self-conscious when a bunch of eyes are scrutinizing the way I talk or stand. But when I'm talking to like one person or two, I'm fine. That's when I get really crazy and excited in talking. When I'm talking personally to people, I feel very comfortable but when I'm in a group it's very intimidating. Go figure.

 Another theory as to why I'm like this, I feel like when I'm in a smaller group, one-to-one, I can get response and really listen to their opinion and then give my response. You can't do that with crowds, can ya? Except for 'Are you ready to partayy?'So, yes I am that girl who is very boisterous when you're alone with me and quiet in a group of people.

I envy people who are natural born speakers, can give the air of confidence when they're talking. Envy, envy, envy. I tried to practice my public speaking skills, well it has improved but eck, I'm not someone who you would listen to intently. I also envy people who are just plain friendly and nice; who are so comfortable with talking to anyone. I am awkward. If I don't feel comfortable with you, expect silence. Sometimes I just don't even want to talk to you, so I would not even fake that I'm interested. Yeah I'm not that nice. Maybe I need to work on my sincerity, then maybe I'll give out an aura of niceness haha and people would listen ?

That's all folk!
Stay tune for another round of mania!

I'm liking what I'm hearing

I've been expose to awesome music lately. This is just a post to remind me all the things I liked.

A fun quirky catchy tune. It's just really upbeat, very easy listening. 

MY SWAG SONG.

I actually really like this mash up. I like the fact it was a lot of stuff, I really like how they mixed the two songs and I never been a fan of mash up but zis iz nize.

My guilty pleasure, my wanted boys :3 It makes me wanna dance, but of course Glad You Came would always be my party anthem har har. But seriously Jay's voice, muy bien. J'adore!

If you have time, or bored out of your wits then have a listen. If you don't like it, you suck. Haha I kid. Kind of. 

Adios amigos.

Always

Harry Potter is on the telly, The Sorcerer Stone. I always wondered why it wasn't Philosopher Stone. Anyways, it brings back a lot of good childhood memories :') Hogwarts, why art thou not real?

I wanted to write about Snape actually, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I can really relate to him and his officially my favorite character, no doubt. I like him because he is actually the ultimate good guy, even though he is not the nicest bloke to chat with but deep down he was always loyal. I find that very admirable.

 He was alone in his missions, never really could talk to anyone being a double agent. I don't know, I think he has sacrificed a great deal, and I don't even think he is rewarded or appreciated for it. And he has his own tragic love story :C And you know I like tragic love stories, but Snape's story was just too UGH gut wrenching. I can't believe he died! All the accusations he had to face, all that hatred from people. Snape, you are the best. You are such a complex character and I applaud Rowling for creating such wonderful character. Snape's memories was one my favorite part of the book. I wished he did not have to go through all of that.

I just really like Snape, can't you tell. He is by far the bravest person in the book, and that book had a lot of courageous people. I don't like Harry Potter that much really. My mum said he is a sissy, I kind of agree.

It's ok Snape, I despise everyone too.

Legal Beagle

It's amazing to think that I'm actually 18! I started this blog when I was 15, woah, it seems like a long time ago. I am absolutely in love with my blog. It's like my public diary, I don't keep diaries because well, I'm too lazy to write everyday, but this blog is as close as it gets. But I am a living proof that age does not matter. Although I am   18 and I am recognized by the law to be an adult but I still feel as though I am that naive 15 year old girl. I don't mind it though because I like my immature self. And when I read back my previous post, not a lot has change.And I had a good time going through my old post, and recalling all the memories. Good times, good times. I'm still crazy and annoying but I like to think I have grown in other aspects. Wow I'm 18. I can't cook, I can't do laundry, I don't know how I'm going to survive in the big bad world :S But I've survived so far, and I think I can adapt. I WILL SURVIVE! It's not my birthday by the way, my birthday was months ago.

I wish I could stop time, and always be a teenager.

They say that things just cannot grow
beneath the winter snow,
or so I have been told.

They say we're buried far,
just like a distant star
I simply cannot hold.

Since I'm enjoying my Winter break.

This is my winter song to you.

It's just so relaxing and calming. I know it's suppose to be winter, but I feel like I'm floating on the ocean listening to this song. So if you need some music to escape your dreary life, or need a break a minute or two then be my guest and have a listen cause it's certainly worth listening to.

Ok, now I'm going to hit replay. BYE BYE.

I Love The Sing-Off

Dartmouth Aires are in the finals baby! I'm getting too emotionally attach to these guys  :\ I mean, come on they are addictive especially if you're a girl. They are easy on the eyes, just sayin'. Besides that, they really put on a show. That's probably the main reason I like them. They're singing and performing these mini sketches. Love it! I hope they win but they're up against Pentatonix, who at first I didn't not like because I was a bias fan to the Aires but they're good. I'm not a fan of these dub step, techno thing but Pentatonix are good. Actually they are the main reason why I even watched The Sing-Off in the first place. I was youtube-ing as usual, and I came across The Trio's cover of Lady Gaga which I thought was AWESOME! So in the comments, it said that they were in The Sing-Off and tadaa I'm hooked :}

Can't wait for the finals! This week the Aires performed their usual high energy shows. I thought they took the judges critic about depth but maybe it was too much? I like it though, ain't complaining but not my favorite. Can't wait for their next performances though! AHHH One week, Y  U SO LONG? And university application deadlines are nearer still haven't done anything! THIS IS FUN!

AWH MAAA

I'm going to die from this cuteness 8B AAAAAAHHH I can't exactly tell you what exactly cause I'll sound like an obsess fan girl, which I am but I prefer to pretend I'm not. Just here to release my emotions. Goodbye.

Say What?

Who's going to Foster the People's concert in Malaysia? I can't hear ye. Yes ME. HEHEHE. And no it's not because I like 'Pumped Up Kicks', I need a lot more than just a song to make want to pay for a concert. It's very rare for me to like a band, especially now when our radios are filled with Lil' Wayne's music and if it's not that than it will be an advert. Back to the People get it? I know, sorry lame. Their first album is Torches and I must say it is quite an exquisite work. Right-o chap. But seriously is good. Thumbs up, bravo, magnifico. If you have been following my blog, you know that I'm not a fan of this synthesizer music, techno computer sounding stuff, but these guys make it sound AWE-SOME. And they are amazing live! IMPOSING! HAHA. Can't vait :F ngehehehe. You can expect a blog about it :) MHMM. Yes, I'm back in action baby.

Mark Pontius, we should get married and have babies cause our babies will be BE YOO TI FFOOOL. I mean with your genes, they'll be supermodels! Unless my genes show up :B eh a risk worth taking !

Easier said than done

I really need to buck up. It's hard you know, I'm use to having things going my way. But now, it's like my work didn't pay off. As my father said, results depends on luck too. Well I know Maths has never been my forte but it's depressing to see your not improving. I did improve after the third test but it felt lucky. Sigh. The worst part is I'm not working hard now. I felt the disappointment of failure, and it sucks. I kept thinking to myself, if you're working and failing, you might as well not try at all; the results stay the same.


 I know it's wrong, and I know many would say just study hard, you can do it. You see, it is easier said than done. Maybe my moping period has been long overdue, and I really hope it is not too late to pick myself up. I pray to God help me, but sometimes I feel like I only call on God when I'm in trouble. So I hoped and I pray that I would always praise Him. And I have caused my family a lot of pain, especially my parents. I've been impatient, and I hope God would give me the patience when I feel like I'm about to explode. As you can see, my life is turning up side down. I hope this will end soon, I pray that next year would be better. Yeah so I wrote this post to basically remind me that I'm very fortunate, and I should treasure every moment. I also have  to learn to forgive and let go. Never hold grudges, and always try to mend things when you're at fault.

Wohoo, go mature me! Haha it's funny, I feel like I'm still the same 15 year old girl who started this blog. And I think I haven't changed that much. Maybe that's my problem, I'm far too childish. But I don't want to grow up. Let's see how future me would be. I really can't imagine myself as a grown up. I still look like I'm 12 so yeah.

Henry so cute :3 hehe

These guys are just exploding with energy. Too bad I can't go to Dartmouth because I'm just too bloody lazy, and I should've worked harder. This is one of the sorrows I've been nursing. Yeah it pains me when people are like, why aren't you applying to this this uni? And I'm like well lady cause my brain can only go so far. Okay I won't say that, but people should stop asking that question. I realized the work you have to put in to go into these school, I underestimated it and I deserve the punishment. But maybe it is a blessing in disguise. But anyways, for people who didn't get Ivy league or feel you're not good enough, don't ever say that. It is hard work and luck. And I don't think people really know how hard the application is. So to my fellow people who are applying to the US, I feel ya bro. I feel ya.

Needed it

Just felt like I needed to write something :)

Dear lovely bloggy I miss you. You're like the guy best friend that I'm in love with but we're separated because of school and what not, and everytime I'm with you it's like the good old days. Forever alone moment.

Precious, did you see them perform ignition? Adorable. Reminds me when I was obsessed with Only Men Aloud. Darn these male choir groups!! *shakes fist*

Sleeping (Optional)

Oh foolish heart, I have fallen again.

Yes, so I'm on my break. See if you're familiar with my blog then you would know I post a lot about guys that I like. SO, without further ado, here's another one :D

There's this a capella group competition called the sing-off; it is kind of like any other singing competition but a capella and in groups? ( cue the DUH). And you know how I like guys who can sing. Just imagine groups of guys singing in tune! *HOLY MOLEY MACARONI* I love the college groups. I am bias I must say. But they are so entertaining and funny. Bloody charming blokes.

You know how I am so thug, the guy rapping would be my perfect match <3 Haha and he really looks cute with his green hoodie and cap :} I like him. Must find someone who's going to Dartmouth. We be so pimping together, our thug life and all.

TOEFL

Yeah it's been ages since I've blogged but I don't care. I need a place to release my anxiety. I didn't want to release on facebook because I don't feel comfortable with it HAHA. I know right. But anyways, tomorrow is my TOEFL test; I am super scared. LIKE MAJOR SCARED. My hands are shaking as we speak. The problem is, I am still not studying. I don't want to the exercise because it shows just how unprepared I am :S I really want to cry now. Okay, I'm going to buck and do the practice test.

Furry little critters with awesome songs.

I am in love with a track! I am. I've been starving for new meat. So, I was doing a bit of shopping for my departure to my new college D: Okay, I'm being over-dramatic, the college is really near to my house but due to the rules, I have to stay in the hostel BOO-bloody-HOO. Wait, got sidetracked. As I was saying, I was shopping then I heard this song in Dorothy Perkins I think. I went back home looked it up and found it.  And here it izz Tokyo (Vampires & Wolves) by The Wombats.

I am so happy :D And I'm dancing like a lunatic in front of my laptop. I think my brother is used to seeing me dancing all by myself. (The closest thing I would get to a club)  HAHA yes. But anyways, enough about my killer moves, and enjoy this tune. If you're not into what people call as "indie" or like bubbly happy tune and prefer to mope or hardcore metal, then this is not for you. Have a go though :) I like to shout in the chorus. I pity my neighbours.

Baby steps

It's almost 2 a.m. My sleeping time is way off. I sleep around 3 o'clock, wake up at 4? I blame the internet, well I know it's me but still I BLAME YOU, INTERNET. But yes. I'm just blabbing a post because I need to post something. I won't let you die bloggeh! I WON'T! So I thought, okay, post something. Get back to the rhythm then I would slowly get back to blogging. I miss you. You're like the boyfriend who's overseas and I haven't talked to him for like a year. My emotions all bundled up, and how my ears have not explored the music scene. I am becoming boring (not to blow my own trumpet that I was so fascinating before but I was a lot more fascinating than I am now). And dear blog, I am going away from my lovely home. I am to live in a hostel. With strangers. Sharing bathrooms. Having a roommate. Mind you I have never shared my bedroom, this could be fun? I'll tell you more in details about how I got MARA. I don't know who's going to read it but I shall post it and see whether it is useful for people or for people who wants to know. I shall sleep before 3 today! I WILL!

This should not be forgiven.

I AM THE WORST BLOGGER EVER.

Dancing in front of my laptop.

Oh my gosh, I don't know what is it with me and boybands. I am not a die hard fan and all, but dammit the songs are so catchy! Currently I am infatuated with The Wanted boys. My favourite is Jay. Oh those blonde curls, and his geek qualities! Tre adorable. So they have a new album coming up!! And their new single is called 'Glad You Came'. You know I've always expressed a disliking towards repetitive pop songs and dance musics. But I don't know sometimes, there's exception. Yeah when good looking guys are singing the songs ;) hahaha no I genuinely really like this song. It's upbeat, something I need to brighten up these holidays. I mean come on, it's so upbeat that it makes me want to dance. Yes, I did dance in front of my laptop. I don't care! I think I've contributed to a lot views for this song in YouTube.



Have a listen yeah :D Hope you enjoy it.

I seriously have no mood

I just don't know. I do miss you blog. But I don't have the motivation for me to write. It's not like I have no ideas (hmm come to think of it, I can't seem to remember what I wanted to talk about), it's just I'm just so tired to think.

I just finished my Unit 1 EdExcel exam. Phew. The papers were quite okay. Econs was a bit cuckoo (wtcrap, why is the supply curve straight?). Business was business, full of nonesense. English lit, well I'm proud of how far I've come okay! :S Psycho, was not psychotic. It was doable. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah 3X. Stupid song. Nice intro, horrible everything.

So today marks my last day as an official student of my current college. I got offered to do American Degree Foundation Programme. So yeah. I love my current college. My friends and lecturers are awesome! And I'm not even exaggerating. I will miss my friends. Especially Christal. She's like glued to me. At least I had the chance to experience college life at the greatest college ever. And meet loads of people. So I am not sad because it ended, I am happy because it happened. That's a load of bull, I'm super sad.

Hey I ended up blogging. Hmmmmmmmm. Yeah. Goodbyes sucks.


There shouldn't be a good there. SO I BID TO YOU A GOODNIGHT. AND GOODNIGHT TO ALL!

Tis a hard choice

I'm debating with myself on whether I should update my blog.


No mood.

Put Your Hands All Over

Yesterday was Maroon 5's concert. I went with Alliya. We were at the upper tier, because I didn't want my dad to spend a lot, yeah so we bought the cheapest tickets :D

I would do a proper build up if I wasn't so lazy, so yeah let's go straight to the point. I LOVE MAROON 5. All of them were amazing. Especially Adam Levine! He sounded great live! And not to mention he was so hot! They sang 15 songs. The concert was short but, I guessed all the songs correctly. My favourite parts were hmm, oh gosh. There's so many! This Love, Stutter, Hands All Over, and yeah too many. I think I lost my voice. I practically screamed their whole entire set list!

They opened with Misery and ended with Sunday Morning. Sigh, it was good gig :)

If only my leg could sing as well.

And if you'd took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I'd jumped from my tree
And I'd danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would fared well. - The Shins

Yesterday, I found out another random fact about me. I love break up songs :D HAHA. Not Taylor Swift type of break up songs. But really deep break up songs. I remembered I was obsessed with 'A Rush of Blood to the Head'. Well I have found the song's equally depressive brother. The Shins' 'New Slang' :D TADAAA



No I'm not going through a break up, or about to kill myself. I am though, a bit down in the dumps but not pass the normal point. I just really like those types of songs. Simple melodies, and fitting lyrics. That's like the epic formula for a bad ass break up song.

Usually I wouldn't like slow songs, especially the slow pop songs. It's really hard to make a slow song without making it boring and monotonous. But the thing is with 'AROBTTH' and 'New Slang' is that both are very monotonous especially 'New Slang' but they never cease to amaze me. The simplicity of the songs are enough to entertain my thoughts when it is idle. So yeah it's kind of funny that most song which have wide range of melodies can bore me but songs with monotonous sound can be replayed over and over again.

I guess, what makes it work for those type of songs is their emotions and lyrics behind it. The voice is subtle and almost as if he gave up on life. And the words just fit you know? It's just so sophisticated and poetic. Compare this with Justin Bieber's 'Baby'. Bieber never knew the pain, man. But The Shins explained it very well.




This is the song with 'Garden State' movie as the backdrop. I watched the movie only for a bit, I shall watch it properly next time. Maybe I'll write a post about it.

Why am I so lazy?

I just, I just don't get it man. Like WHY? Okay I have a business presentation to do, I have English Lit essays. And Econs homework. I really need to start studying Psycho.

I've been contemplating with myself about how am I to present my blog. Should I make the post short and constantly update it or do long post but with fewer updates of course. Hmm. But I don't like short post. But I do not own the luxury of doing long post. So yes. And I haven't had a theme post in a bazillion years.

I have ideas but oh gosh, my brain juice is not flowing well. I'm tired always. And it's probably my fault for staying up so late. I need to discipline myself, easier said then done.

So updates? My college had a treasure hunt. It was a blast. We practically walked all over KL. The clues were so O_O At first it was okay, uhuh yeah. I got this. Okay I got this. Once we reached Berjaya Time Square which was the third part. My brain stopped working. Like *kapoot* So you can guess my partner and I did not win those freaking iPads! But there's always next year, iPad 2 heheheh muahahahaha! All in all it was FUN FUN FUN! Tiring as heck. I was so smelly kehkehkeh.

When my parents picked me up, we went and stop to look at cars. Apparently my dad is planning to buy one? For me? Hahaha maybe. Probably sharing with him. SINCE I'VE THE LICENSE TO DRIVE! HOYEAH. Luckily we did not test drive it. Because I am not a good driver... YET. Practice makes perfect, who wants to roll with me ?

And my brother has been letting me drive in Bukit Jelutong on the way back from college. I was barely at 60 km/h and I felt as though it was going super fast. HAHAHA. Well I drove at 40 km/h for JPJ okay. My brother kept telling me to go faster! FASTER! Or the engine will die. But I was scared :\

I think I need to eat dinner. Later.

Sleeping, I should be.

HOLA, I AM EDUARDO. I LIKE POTATOES.

Lack of sleep.

A good week finally came.

I re-did my blog. I'm still not satisfied with it. But whatever. I think it's cute. HEE.

Let us hear about my week, si? So 23rd March was D-DAY as everyone would put it. I was scared, because I didn't want to be disappointed again like how I was in PMR. This time everyone looked a bit more calmed, more zen haha, maybe because they went through PMR and their results didn't kill them the next day.

So there was I, around 10 a.m at school. Waiting.. and yeah there was a lot of waiting. Then finally the teacher announced the straight A's. There were 17 people. One by one went up to collect. And then there was left one. I just gave up hope then because well PMR really scarred me. And the only time I was called last, was in UIA. Where we were last team to break and MAN it was such a JOY. Yes one SPM slip left for straight A's, secretly I didn't give up, I still hoped it was me. And ALHAMDULILLAH, it was! I couldn't believe the*(#$& . So yes, I cried like a BIG OL' BABY. I was quite proud of my achievement.

My results weren't great. I mean, I didn't have a lot of A+'s. But I was satisfied. I couldn't ask for a better result for myself. Though then I saw people with a million A+'s and I was like danngggg now my result looks like nothing. HAHA. But I am very grateful.

And today was my driving test! I really didn't want to fail because then I had to skip another Friday, which I don't want to D: I freaked during parking because my car wasn't straight, so my mind went like Oh CRAP. Now what do I do? Me, being a pro, decided to experiment with the steering wheel trying to straighten the car. I just ended up making a fool of myself. JPJ officers were like WTF is this kid doing? Again, in my head I gave up. I thought that since I'm failing, why not just keep on going until the officers call me. But I didn't fail, I managed to park the fuh reak king car. HOYEAH. The 3 pointers was a breeze B) HAHAH (I'm lying, I was   fumbling everywhere).

During the road test, thankfully I got like a laid back JPJ. He was listening to the radio, and Bruno Mars "Marry You" was on. When we got back, he said to me, you need to practice more, ok? Then I was DANGGG I FAILED, it's ok. At least I only need to repeat the road test. SIGHHHH. But then I saw my marks I PASSED. YIPPEE KI-YAY!

It's been a good week. And yeah I've been singing "Marry you" everywhere. It's so catchy. WHYYYY

I GOT MY P. I GOT MY P. I NEED TO P. Get it? :D HEHEHEHEHEH

I'm sooo high. ( In real life, my butt is permanently parked  in my sofa) PARKED GET IT HAHAHA.

I better stop before I make more lame driving jokes.

BYE BYE

Be strong, carry on.

The Strokes streamed their album on their website :B Golly Geee! The album is called 'Angles', consisting of 10 songs. I have been looping the same songs, to have this album is refreshing! I am through with listening to 'Like a G6' every morning. And it's not even cool anymore. Like three, six? Whatchu talking bout far east movement?

Anyways, it is a fun song. BUT STOP PLAYING IT.

I told my friends, I don't want to go clubbing if the songs are filled with bass beats and annoying repetitive rhythm. I rather be sweaty at a concert. At least I can listen to music that I like, and I can wear sneakers and not be out of place.

Trials is in 2 weeks by the bye <---- Jane Eyre is filled with that. It means by the way by the way :D I'm so lame. So I should be studying. As always. I should really be studying D:

OH yeah about the album :D HAHA now you can see why I think I'm ADHD. My mind can't focus on a certain topic for so long. OK. Yeah I like it. HMM :D I see Strokes fan saying that it's better that First Impression Of Earth but not as legendary as Is This It. I sort of agree. It's a great album. Better than any that is in stores now. The Strokes are exploring a new realm of their sound. With no Julian to take on leadership. It does seem a little more messy in a way. It seems to not connect together as an album. You would notice the separation of ideas.

I like most of the tracks. Especially the single, Under the Cover of Darkness. Machu Picchu is nice. WELL I LIKE ALL. Except you're so right. I don't get it. It sounds like Radiohead. And I never was a fan of them. I only liked Karma Police and Paranoid Android. Others ehh nope. Oh the album has this retro vibe, you know. I think it's because they're trying to create something timeless. But yeah, it sounded like 70's or 80's music with a new twist.

I miss the plain sound of a band without all those hipster technology.

Speaking of 80's dance music, I was disappointed with Lady Gaga's 'Born This Way'. It does not sound current. It's not the Gaga I like. Not the extravagant operatic singer that I like to sing-a-long to with weird expressions of various dramatic emotions. But we shall see.

I can't believe Matt Bellamy's going to be a DAD :( I wish you the best Maffew. I hope you're happy :'( This is sad. Why can't Muse hurry up with another album. The Resistance does not suffice. I WANT MORE, MORE, MORE!

I remembered being a huge fan of Fall Out Boy. My brother has been listening to them, brings back memories :) I can't believe I still remember parts of the song. Not really parts, but most of it! HUH If only my brain can use the storage for my studies instead of lyrics of songs which does not help in the exam hall.

Again no themed post. I kept changing my mind until I got so fed up and I just wrote what I felt. Okay.

BYE BYE. I wonder what happened to the academy is.

Again BYE!

Of words that has no meanings.

Life has not been sunny. Just earlier today there's been an announcement on Tsunami alert :( I saw the damage. My heart sunk. I hope we all could start to change. Including myself. And the more I think about it, the more depress I get. And the only way I could keep myself from losing hope and be stuck in this rut, is by ignoring. Ignoring does not solve problems. So now I'm here, watching the news. Feeling really bummed. 

Let's have a turn on mood, I trully hope that Japan and the rest of world would be fine.But I don't want to be one of those people who are wishing through online and saying all of it. I hope the animals are fine too. You would not believe how many pets stranded during disasters. Okay, send positive energy. 

I'm tired and I'm sick. I thought I was going to post an update. But computer says no. I miss river trotting :D That was awesomez. 

So Little Time

Whut up,

Sorry bloggie, I haven't been writing. I've been abnormally busy lately. So 3 major things had happen for these past few weeks.

First of all, my orientation camp! I did not at all look forward to it. Especially the activities listed. Night Jungle Walk? Stream trotting?! What is this? Are they trying to kill me? Well to sum it up. It was fun :D HEHEHE Especially the stream trotting! Man, even though my legs felt like a ton because of water trapped in my trousers, but it was an experience! The water was cooling, I loved it I loved it! It felt so good to be in the water! I don't know why the seniors like to get the juniors wet. It's a 'tradition' but why water and soap. I bathed okay.

Next was the Orientation Ball! Besides the late food and jam the evening was super enjoyable! Everyone was dressed up. All the girls were so pretty! I couldn't recognise some of them! It's nice seeing people all dolled up. I hate heels though. My feet were crying, oh why must you do this to me?! Slippers all the way man.

Finally, today I had my first driving lesson! WHEEEEE. One step closer to my license :D can't wait!

Sorry for the rushed post. I'm suppose to study. Qualifying test coming soon. Oh no. DOOM.

Cause things will change

It's a revolution!

I changed my blog title. Por que? I felt like I need to move on from Blogger to Hell. Kind of childish the name :D HAHAHA As if the new one is. And plus I'm going to be legal this year. So I need to change. Hmm, though I try not to change what that can be left as it is. But we need to change to grow, hopefully it goes to the right direction.

Foolish heart

It's hard being a complicated minded person. With all the mood swings, over-thinking, and hormones. Hormones  ugh, if I could stop you I would!

Anyways, so yes. What's bothering me? Nothing really. It's just that, it's really hard for me not to like a guy. It could be anyone really, usually guy friends are not in the list, most of the time. I usually like guys that I'm not acquainted with. It's really weird to like a guy that you're friends with o_O you know? 

I sound so depress, but I'm just really tired. You know what, I'm going to print a picture of all the guys I love and slip them in my file. That would really motivate me ;) Oh I love Andrew Garfield. Though before this I didn't because every single girl loved him too after The Social Network, so I kind of even dislike him :O for being adored by these people. 

But then, one fine glorious day I watched an interview with him and he sounded so mature and profound that I thought he's a pretentious guy. But then I found out that he was 27 years old :O That shone a new light on him. Before this I thought he's like a kid trying to add as though he's so wise and all but it turns out he's the real deal. I know age does not equal to being wiser but I just prefer people to act their age. So with that he is gorgeous to me now :) 

Stars and Butterflies

I realised that I have certain words that I find beautiful. I know weird haha! I like the word 'fire', like e.g: When you have nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire. I think fire represents passion and I love how one can be so passionate for something. So I love it when there's fire in a quote. HAHA it gets weirder. I also love the word 'butterflies'. As you can see my title is Stars and Butterflies, my tumblr header is Butterflies and Hurricanes. What is it with that word? Well I find butterflies to be beautiful and well it gives me an instant picture of beauty everytime I see the word butterflies. And it also represents the emotion when you get nervous. You know, butterflies in your stomach and that emotion relates to me the most. I hate feeling nervous and yet I feel nervous for most of the time.

But that's not what I want to talk about. I just need a place to release my frustration. From my previous post, you can see that I've been obsessing over everything Pride & Prejudice. Now I'm going to talk about the soundtrack. It is freaking amazingly beautiful that it could make tear up. BRAVO Dario Marianelli! Excellent job.

The soundtrack consist of 17 tracks which are all so subtle and breath taking. It's like a breath of fresh air. The opening track 'Dawn' is aptly name, it does result in emotion of you waking up from your slumber and getting on with your day. GORGEOUS!

So you guessed it, I'm hooked to the soundtrack and have been listening to it on repeat. I really want the music sheet! So I googled it and apparently Kinokuniya had it. So there was I eagerly going to Kinokuniya to just find out that it's out of stock since last year. BOO!! I was so heartbroken. I DON'T CARE I SHALL GET THAT BLOODY BOOK. You know why I'm in a hurry to get the book, well you see I'm very impulsive. Very impulsive as in it comes and goes.

Here's one of my problem. I fall head over heels for something, after awhile the fire would certainly dim and I would lose the interest. I'm scared by the time I get the book, I wouldn't have the interest to practice it anymore. I'm really a messed up girl. I really don't know how to overcome it. My interest shifts too fast and I can't tell my heart 'Hey slow down, and stay at it longer' , it doesn't work that way. So I really really hope, by the time I get the scores, I'll have the interest still.

Pemberly state of mind tumblr, you are awesome!

Oh but why must I be obsessive.

Jello!

So I'm taking A-levels right, right, right? One of the subjects I'm taking is English Literature :O Yes. Since I didn't have the opportunity to take it during SPM, I was determine to take it for A-levels even though people say it's so hard and it's not easy to get A. Well nothing is easy. You can see my stubbornness, my dad was a bit wary of me taking the subject but I really want to learn you know?

Enough about dilemma, for the first module we had to read Jane Eyre. My gosh, was it a bore! AT THE BEGINNING! Sorry for fans of the book but the first half of her life is a drab. Even though I hate romantic novels because of the cheesy lines and situations but when set in a Victorian Era it became quite a guilty pleasure :D I loved how Mr. Rochester courted Jane and how he went to great length just to make Jane confess her love. It was really cute. YES CUTE!

I went to youtube and searched videos of Jane Eyre. The newest movie is coming out in March in the US. I was hooked on the videos watching episodes and segments after segments. Even the ones way back from 1973! I was in a period drama phase.

After that, I recalled Pride & Prejudice. I remembered watching the movie and couldn't understand a thing. But I knew I didn't hate the movie. So yes, I watched the whole movie on youtube. HEHE. AND OH MY BLOODY GOSH, my heart was fluttering everytime I saw Mr. Darcy. And man, did he looked hot in his costumes, the coat is awh somezz~! I love his expressions and the way he talked. All I can say is Matthew MacFayden is an amazing actor. I think the movie has become one of my favourites. I couldn't stop staring at Mr. Darcy, now I know why women love Mr. Darcy. I want to watch it again :) But sadly I have no time.

I am definitely going to read the book and fall head over heels for the characters!

Credits to Pemberley-state-of-mind tumblr.

I really need a life man.

No more can be said.

Hello cherries,

My emotions for today is between disappointment and sadness. If you are a E News follower and gossip reader, you know that Kate Hudson is preggers with a mini Matt. Though it is still a rumour. But I am treating it as if it was real so that I wouldn't be in denial if it was true.

Not only that my dearie, Muse are performing at the GRAMMYS. *applause* What an honour!! NOT. Grammys has loss their credibility and seriously have you seen the winners? Not that I'm saying all of them are horrible but most of them are. So yes MUSE what are you doing there? I know you want to rule the world but making pop records and selling your soul to America will just make you out as a total...fool.

I know a lot of Musers will bash me for rambling about this. But I always say this is my opinion. And I have been a faithful fan of Muse, and as a fan seeing them go through this, it's painful! I want people to recognise Muse as those rockers who made beautiful songs. Epicness shooting through the speakers. Not some Uprising Twilight Band.

They can dress as eccentric as they want but if their music is mundane than no amount of glitters can glorify it.

A new dawn.

Have you had an itch on your toes. And even though you have scratched it, it still itch. I hate it.

What a way to start my new year's post. But I'm not really big on the new year's thing. I should, because I need motivation. But right now my motivation is to never repeat what I've done for SPM. Confused? Me too.

OH! I'm in college now :D HEHEHE Gosh, the orientation is tomorrow. And I'm most definitely going to be an outsider there. Sigh. I am super scared. There's so many things running in my head. But I'm not going to stress about it. Just go, show up and keep cool. Sound good right?

I haven't done a themed post in a long while. And I promised you that I would be back in action but I'm still inconsistent with the post. Let's see if college inspires me.

I am a horrible writer. I'm sorry. My painting isn't even half done. My days are going to get busier. A busy mind is better than an idle one.

Tomorrow is the first day. The first day is always the hardest :\ Please let that be true? My heart is racing. I haven't tried to make new friends in a long time. I mean a long long time. I'm afraid I seem to forget how to.

Just show up. Just show up. Breathe.

Ok no more thoughts! I'm going to college tomorrow.