I realized that I used to be a really emotional person. If you think I'm emotional now, you should have seen how I was when I was kid. Yes I know I'm still a kid to some people, but I'm an adult by law even if my face is stuck in the tween stage. When I was little, I use to be really how should I say, 'gedik' is the malay term in english, hurm 'bimbotic' in a sense. I was a girly girl. Loved all the princess thingy, pink and BLAH you named it.
In primary school I remembered I wanted to be liked and to be popular and all. So I hanged with the 'cool' kids for awhile and then they just decided to kicked me out. I was disposable. I can't remember whether I was hurt, frankly I don't remember anything in primary school life. I didn't have a long lasting friendships in school; I had my neighborhood friends. I was a too good of a friend and people had took advantage of my friendship. I guessed after that I started to be more picky about friends. Not sure though, because I'm not scarred by any memories or betrayed so badly that I want to die.But I was very loyal to my friends.
And now popularity means nothing to me, I cringe at remembering my shallow 9 year old self. But I was 9! Now I can positively say that I am very happy with how I pick my friends. I am friends with people generally but I have few close friends. And I like being my awkward self though I need to work on my confidence but that could improve! Right? Right?! I'm not into all the pinks anymore, now I'm really a tom boy haha. Even though I might be the most coward tomboy ever. I talk the talk but I really don't walk the walk.HAH.What you see is what you get. I'm sometimes nice but I can be mean. Like any other person I had my good and bad days. I hope to relinquish the negatives, so if I ever did anything bad or said something that hurt your feelings. I'm sorry, I really am.
I actually didn't want to sleep, so I wrote this post.