You think capitalism is evil, procrastination is worse.

 Dear blog,
this week has been one of the shi*tiest week. I did not believe that Spring semester would be so hectic, but I feel like I had mountains of homework this week. I think it was just me and my procrastination. I am the KING of procrastination and no one can compete.

But my procrastination has been pushed to the limits. I will finish my work a day before the presentation, like at 3 a.m. It affected my health until I had a fever. But sadly I couldn't even take a day off because of all the work. Usually I won't feel the effects of my procrastination, because in the end my work will be finish and the cycle continues. But today was different, I certainly learnt the value of time. I really did.

I had an economics assignment due today at 12. I thought I had the time in the world since I finish class on Thursday at 12, so I had like an evening. But me and my wandering internet fingers were watching videos until 10 o'clock at night. So then panic sets in, and I like fumbling to finish an essay about capitalism, which I knew nothing about. I was so stressed out that my head was throbbing, and I had to call it quits at 2 a.m.

The next day I woke up 8 30 a.m., there I go typing for my life. I didn't have time to mend my first paper! Oh I am just so disappointed with myself. I have been letting myself down a lot. Because I know I should have tried harder. But I thought even though I rushed but my second paper turned out well if I say so myself. BUT I HAD ACCIDENTLY CLOSE MY WORK WITHOUT SAVING IT. All I could mumble to myself was "Fuck." Oh I was just numb by then. But instead of crying and calling my dad, I finally just suck it up and type what ever I remember.

After that, I saved whatever new paragraph I did. Paranoid. Forever. God certainly taught me a lesson here. OH gosh, one that I won't forget. I really hope I didn't screw up my grades.

Do you ever hate yourself? I have, sometimes I'm even sicked of myself. Sick and tired of being too darn emotional. Sick and tired of being useless and spoilt. I am rotten. But I guess I am being a bit harsh. No I'm not going to kill myself, I'm trying to change, I'm trying to be less bitter. I know some don't believe that somethings are just hard to change, well my disposition is just that. It's really hard.

I seriously have no mood

I just don't know. I do miss you blog. But I don't have the motivation for me to write. It's not like I have no ideas (hmm come to think of it, I can't seem to remember what I wanted to talk about), it's just I'm just so tired to think.

I just finished my Unit 1 EdExcel exam. Phew. The papers were quite okay. Econs was a bit cuckoo (wtcrap, why is the supply curve straight?). Business was business, full of nonesense. English lit, well I'm proud of how far I've come okay! :S Psycho, was not psychotic. It was doable. Yeah yeah yeah. Yeah 3X. Stupid song. Nice intro, horrible everything.

So today marks my last day as an official student of my current college. I got offered to do American Degree Foundation Programme. So yeah. I love my current college. My friends and lecturers are awesome! And I'm not even exaggerating. I will miss my friends. Especially Christal. She's like glued to me. At least I had the chance to experience college life at the greatest college ever. And meet loads of people. So I am not sad because it ended, I am happy because it happened. That's a load of bull, I'm super sad.

Hey I ended up blogging. Hmmmmmmmm. Yeah. Goodbyes sucks.


There shouldn't be a good there. SO I BID TO YOU A GOODNIGHT. AND GOODNIGHT TO ALL!

A new dawn.

Have you had an itch on your toes. And even though you have scratched it, it still itch. I hate it.

What a way to start my new year's post. But I'm not really big on the new year's thing. I should, because I need motivation. But right now my motivation is to never repeat what I've done for SPM. Confused? Me too.

OH! I'm in college now :D HEHEHE Gosh, the orientation is tomorrow. And I'm most definitely going to be an outsider there. Sigh. I am super scared. There's so many things running in my head. But I'm not going to stress about it. Just go, show up and keep cool. Sound good right?

I haven't done a themed post in a long while. And I promised you that I would be back in action but I'm still inconsistent with the post. Let's see if college inspires me.

I am a horrible writer. I'm sorry. My painting isn't even half done. My days are going to get busier. A busy mind is better than an idle one.

Tomorrow is the first day. The first day is always the hardest :\ Please let that be true? My heart is racing. I haven't tried to make new friends in a long time. I mean a long long time. I'm afraid I seem to forget how to.

Just show up. Just show up. Breathe.

Ok no more thoughts! I'm going to college tomorrow.

Task 1 completed.

I have officially registered in a driving school! One small step for man, a giant sigh of relief for me.

My dad said learning how to drive is the main priority. So that's out of the way. I'm going to attend the lecture this Sunday, all by myself~ Don't wanna be, all by myyyseellllf! ANYYYYYMORE! It's only 5 hours :S Hmm yes.

I'm scared. The lady said, girls had a hard time driving, for obvious reasons. I have never driven a manual car before. And in an automatic, I have only driven forward. Never reverse or park. Never mind, theres still a long way to go.

I went to Taylor's Open Day. Yeah there's nothing much though I did there. I bumped into Jason, apparently he registered already! He is going for January intake.

So ladidaa I am growing up. I guess. My head is throbbing. The back of my eyes feel like somebody is assaulting it with a blunt knife :(

Hmm, so I am progressing in my list to do. I have two weeks to complete everything. *sigh* NEED MINIONS! And with the driving stuff, my time will be limited. Looks like I'm back to being busy me. I have never been free. I have always something to do. And I am the champion of procrastination, so that will explain why I am always bored even though I have a thousand and one things to do.

I'm sorry I've been blogging about my boring life. OH DEAR, I have run out of things to talk about. Maybe I'll become more interesting after college.

I hope college wouldn't consume my life. I want a nice balance.

I'm so tired. I'm watching 101 Dalmatians.

Yeah bye. Uhm, I'll talk to you later okay :) HAHA

I need minions.

I need tiny minions to do all my work. I need to start painting. I like painting, it makes my mind focus. When I start painting, nothing else matter besides finishing the painting. It is absolutely relaxing. I love it.

The problem is starting the painting. I have a tough time to decide what to paint. I generally paint cartoonish figures. I like paintings with pastel colours. Soft lighting. Nothing to bold. Subtle is the way to go.

Oh god. I have so many things to do. I need to enroll myself to a driving school. I need to find a college for JANUARY INTAKE. I need to shop for clothes for college which is in JANUARY. I still haven't decide on what to take dammit. I'm probably doing A-level but it's going to be like SPM all over again. I don't know. I want to see counselors. But where are those counselors.

My piano hasn't been tuned for a year. The keys are falling apart. I have no acoustic guitar. My pick is missing. My nails hurt because of the strumming.

ZIS IZ IMPOSSIBLEH! ZE IZ TOO MUCHH!


So yes, I need minions!

Miss me?

Dear bloggers, I am in love with Nick Valensi. Just FYI. Not really related to this post.

I am now finally released from the grasp of SPM! Jump for joy because I'm not going to study Biology anymore :)

I'm still getting used to typing a post. Gosh how long has it been since I had a proper post? Too long! And my brain is all tired and throbbing. My back aches, sitting for 20 plus papers is not fun. I am stuck in the stone age. It's going to take awhile for me to get back on track.

Hmm, since I'm here I might as well tell you about what's going on with me right now. Not like you care, but I feel like typing. I miss my blog okay. So college next year, hmm yes. College. Well, I have no idea where I am going, what I am going to do. So yeah, that's going to be a challenge. And yes the college that has the subjects I want is freaking expensive. $$$ It's all about the money, money, money.

Oh! I can now take my driver's license! But I'm kind of scared to drive alone, and at night. My experience behind the wheel isn't the best. Let's hope I improve *game face on*

It's my last day of school. By last meaning, the last day I'm ever going to attend school wearing a school uniform :\ I'm suppose to be ecstatic to be over with SPM or be real sad with leaving school. But I don't feel anything? Maybe my brain hasn't comprehend it yet. I'm suppose to have this big sigh of relief hmph. But no, I'm having 1001 things crossing my minds about college, about what to do and etc. How boring *yawn* I'm suppose to rest my brain today. Get some real sleep, but I'm up here with you blogger. See, I have to keep myself busy.

Maybe I'll change my blog layout. Do something simple. Yes simple please!

So I'll stop here, before I go on and on. See you soon, buddy! And I MEAN IT :)

** I hate how I sound in this post. But I shall improve with time. I'm rusty okay :|