Empathy, I have it.

The reason why I'm so emotional about things is because of empathy. I have too much of it. The feeling goes as fast as it comes, but the moment it's there oh boy will I be ugly.

If you're in pain, I will feel it too. If there's a bird that got hit by a car, I have to numb my heart and not think about it. Well I just finished reading The Book Thief. The characters are lovely, too lovely in fact. You could even feel how warm they are across the page. And you feel as though all their memories are yours too. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend you should.

The first pages were confusing to me, this happens to each book I read. But once you get into the groove that's when it's good, that's when you don't want to put it down because you're dying to know what's on the next page.  I guess that's why I haven't read a lot of book but I  still consider it to be one of the most enjoyable past times.

I don't know how I jumped from empathy to reading books. Probably because I cried like a baby, again reading this book. And it's not just a tear rolling down the cheek, they were waterfalls. There's also adorable moments that makes you giggle and you keep rereading the same part. I'm a sucker of childhood love story because it's pure and uncomplicated. Too bad I won't have one of my own because certainly I am way pass the childhood phase and my childhood consisted of me and dolls. No lemon colored hair boy to rescue a book floating in the river, for me.

Oh well, life goes on. And I still have stories to be apart of.


Though I empathize animals, but certainly not INSECTS.

DIE YOU ROACHES. DIE.

Uncomfortable feelings

I have to write an essay entitled "My Idol". KO-PLN. I just don't understand.

Frankly speaking, I don't really look up to anyone. The trouble is when you look up to someone there's always this expectation that the person is like perfect. But I guess the person I admire most would be my dad. But I don't want to write about my dad, why? 1. It's cheesy. 2. I don't feel comfortable talking about something personal to a person, who isn't even my lecturer.

I could write about J.K Rowling. Maybe I'll do that. I know should try to be honest in this type of stuff. But I really don't like it when a stranger is reading something personal. Hah, I so can't be a writer. Oh well, economics it is.

I know my posts have been short, but I don't have anything significant to blog about.

Till I rant again, bye.

It never gets easier.

Family : People who put up with my singing in the car.


I don't know how many times I've blogged about laziness, but I can't shake it off. I'm actually quite happy now, well I doubt I'll be in a few days because college would resume and that means I have to finish my work. Assignments, assignments, frankly speaking I learnt very little from my assignments, I know that's bad. I should be sucking the facts like sponge but nope. Brain, why can't you be useful?

I really need new songs to listen to. I'm listening to some of the songs when I was in Form 3. Reminded me of all the craziness. I was really into all the Fueled by Ramen bands. I wish I could listen to a song and not get sick of it. So I could just listen to that every time I have no song to listen to.

Wow, I really have nothing to blog about. That's me, ladies and gents, the most boring girl on the planet.

You know what job I would like? A travel show host, like those lonely planet people, gosh. Travelling and it's their job! I would love to walk in the streets of Morocco, or visit the buildings in Turkey. And then you get to see their culture, oh that would be awesome. Hah, I don't even know my own culture well. But what the heck, I don't care.

Heh, maybe I'll get a job offer to be secret spy so I have to travel all over. Well, let's see what happens. You'll never know what tomorrow brings.

Heavy eyelids.

I have nothing to blog actually. I'm just bored.

So tired, yet I don't want to sleep. 

1, 2 don't mess up.

Why must they torment me.
Cameron's voice, oo-er :[ so nice. The falsetto, ahhh!
Better sleep before I stay up til the break of dawn.

So long, farewell.

ALHAMDULILLAH

Praise GOD! I got into a freaking university.
Though I am very grateful but the build up isn't that exciting you know. Just log in and voila on the homepage they say Congratulations! You have been admitted.
Oh I'm just oh weee!
Then it fades.
BUT I GOT IN! Oh after all that struggle, after all the tears, I got in.

Some days stay golden

We started in the morning, drove up the the hill. Excitement was the only thing I felt.

The best concert I went to was The Click Five in Genting, I don't know how many times I have mentioned this but it's true! I liked the fact, it was just me and my parents. I had my own hotel room. And the affogato after the concert was nice.

Good memories are painful.

You think capitalism is evil, procrastination is worse.

 Dear blog,
this week has been one of the shi*tiest week. I did not believe that Spring semester would be so hectic, but I feel like I had mountains of homework this week. I think it was just me and my procrastination. I am the KING of procrastination and no one can compete.

But my procrastination has been pushed to the limits. I will finish my work a day before the presentation, like at 3 a.m. It affected my health until I had a fever. But sadly I couldn't even take a day off because of all the work. Usually I won't feel the effects of my procrastination, because in the end my work will be finish and the cycle continues. But today was different, I certainly learnt the value of time. I really did.

I had an economics assignment due today at 12. I thought I had the time in the world since I finish class on Thursday at 12, so I had like an evening. But me and my wandering internet fingers were watching videos until 10 o'clock at night. So then panic sets in, and I like fumbling to finish an essay about capitalism, which I knew nothing about. I was so stressed out that my head was throbbing, and I had to call it quits at 2 a.m.

The next day I woke up 8 30 a.m., there I go typing for my life. I didn't have time to mend my first paper! Oh I am just so disappointed with myself. I have been letting myself down a lot. Because I know I should have tried harder. But I thought even though I rushed but my second paper turned out well if I say so myself. BUT I HAD ACCIDENTLY CLOSE MY WORK WITHOUT SAVING IT. All I could mumble to myself was "Fuck." Oh I was just numb by then. But instead of crying and calling my dad, I finally just suck it up and type what ever I remember.

After that, I saved whatever new paragraph I did. Paranoid. Forever. God certainly taught me a lesson here. OH gosh, one that I won't forget. I really hope I didn't screw up my grades.

Do you ever hate yourself? I have, sometimes I'm even sicked of myself. Sick and tired of being too darn emotional. Sick and tired of being useless and spoilt. I am rotten. But I guess I am being a bit harsh. No I'm not going to kill myself, I'm trying to change, I'm trying to be less bitter. I know some don't believe that somethings are just hard to change, well my disposition is just that. It's really hard.