Feeling down again, for no reason, I seriously think I'm bipolar or suffer from depression. Okay, I'm not suffering from those two. I think. Felt like blogging my emotions again. Don't read this, this is just me venting out my frustrations.
Sigh, I realized that there will never be a break anymore now. Sure during school, I can just spend my holidays doing unproductive activities but now it's not the same. I have a crap load of work to do. And my brain is cluttered up with all these tiny important information and I just want to throw all these papers away.
And why I'm here talking nonsense on my post, well because I don't have anyone else to talk to about. I feel like I'll annoy people. So here I can whine what ever I want. Hah. All I want is someone to just hear me complain and give me a hug. I just want a freaking HUG, is that so hard. Just one stupid hug with a "I know you can do it" in a convincing tone. I should just say it to myself. PFBBBTT
I really don't know what to do now, I have no clue what I'm suppose to do. I feel like everything is just a mess. And I don't have time to clean it up! I'm freaking out, it's amazing that I'm quite sane. Quite. For how long?
Why does everything that I want seem so far, no matter how much I tried. It sucksssssssssss that you can't have it. Ugh, I should start an EMO band or something, yeah! And write songs about my pathetic lonely life spent in front of a computer.
My first hit would be 'Wasting the Day Away' Gosh I'm SO GOING TO BE FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I hate being obsessed D: I HATE IT, why can't I be obsess with studying HUH HUH. I tell you I am program to be a remarkably average teen. Even my cat is more accomplished than me.
I should really deactivate my facebook, I really am tempted too, maybe next spring. Damn, but all the info I need is there UGH. I should check my facebook like I check my emails.
YEAH, watch me be inactive in facebook, YOU WATCH.
That's enough, before I spill my deep dark secrets, which I don't have really. A 3 year old kid has a darker secret than me.
Bye. Put a smile on yer face :)
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Procrastinate is I
I felt like doing this type of survey which was the 'it' thing during the Myspace times. I felt like answering questions cause I don't have anyone to talk to now :\ I am pathetic.
Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
Hmm, yes. You could make a stupid comment and I'll smile.
Tell me why you like the last song you listened to?
It's pretty and simple. Has that nostalgic feeling to it, very emotional.
What color are your eyes?
It's black, yeap, typical Asian color. Well it's actually this mucky brown like mud. Charming eh?
Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Sofa, always the sofa.
How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
One, my dad.
What would your name be without the first three letters?
Lina! HAHA Awesome B)
Last thing you touched not computer-related?
SAT Math Workbook, phail Asian right here, can't do simple arithmetic :| HEH
What colors are you wearing right now?
Black and purple.
You currently in a fight with someone?
Not that I know off? I'm pretty cool with everyone.
Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Nope, don't want to meddle with people's business.
Do you have an older brother?
Yes, dos actually, which means 2.
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
YES! At one time I thought I was going to die from the lack of air.
Do you look at the keyboard when you type?
Sometimes, for password :)
What are you listening to right now?
The great sound of nothing with earphones in my ears. I just like to put it on and not play anything...yeah. Ok now I'm gonna put something on. Mutemath - Spotlight, there ya go!
Do you laugh a lot?
Yes :|
Are you ticklish?
Yes, but I don't like being tickled at all and I get angry and paranoid if someone did.
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Recite all the things I am grateful for.
Have you ever been on a boat?
I'm on a boat mutha-- yeah.
Last person you gave a hug to?
Not sure, I rarely hug. One of my friends OH! Ok I don't know.
Tell me about the shirt/shirts you’re wearing?
It's a shirt I bought at Movie World at Gold Coast, OZ. It has Marvin the Martian, and it's huge. I like how huge face or lack of it is plastered BAM in front.
When you are home alone do you still close the door when you shower?
My bathroom is in my room, I almost always never close the door. Like double security? No thank you, I am so bad ass B)
Do you have plans for today?
Nah, I go with the flow. ( I actually have no friends to hang out with and my family doesn't like to hang with me either)
When is the last time you took a nap?
A week ago maybe, I don't like naps.
What was on your mind most today?
SAT, and how I can't do bad this time and yes university applications.
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
I don't hide them but I don't talk about it. Does that make sense?Yes it does.
What instant messaging service do you use?
It used to be MSN, but then Facebook chat came. TARAA
How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
Depends on how tired I am. Ranges from a split second to hours of rolling in the bed.
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along?
Yes, this is kind of redundant. We tolerate each other.
What are you drinking?
Long Island Tea ;) I kid, I'm not having a sip of fluid, currently.
Honestly, if you could go back 8 months and change something, would you?
Study more? Well if you asked 4 months then yes.
Do you know what you’re wearing tomorrow?
NO. Like heckk, I'm just going to stay at home. Oh wait, yeah I know what I'm wearing tomorrow, sadly.
Do you know anyone who smokes weed?
Yes, but I don't if that person smokes at a regular basis.
Did you get this quiz from www.FunQuizNotes.com ?
HO-YEAH.
I'm done :O That was---a waste of time but I am utterly satisfied in a guilty pleasure way.
Is it easy for someone to make you smile?
Hmm, yes. You could make a stupid comment and I'll smile.
Tell me why you like the last song you listened to?
It's pretty and simple. Has that nostalgic feeling to it, very emotional.
What color are your eyes?
It's black, yeap, typical Asian color. Well it's actually this mucky brown like mud. Charming eh?
Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
Sofa, always the sofa.
How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
One, my dad.
What would your name be without the first three letters?
Lina! HAHA Awesome B)
Last thing you touched not computer-related?
SAT Math Workbook, phail Asian right here, can't do simple arithmetic :| HEH
What colors are you wearing right now?
Black and purple.
You currently in a fight with someone?
Not that I know off? I'm pretty cool with everyone.
Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
Nope, don't want to meddle with people's business.
Do you have an older brother?
Yes, dos actually, which means 2.
Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
YES! At one time I thought I was going to die from the lack of air.
Do you look at the keyboard when you type?
Sometimes, for password :)
What are you listening to right now?
The great sound of nothing with earphones in my ears. I just like to put it on and not play anything...yeah. Ok now I'm gonna put something on. Mutemath - Spotlight, there ya go!
Do you laugh a lot?
Yes :|
Are you ticklish?
Yes, but I don't like being tickled at all and I get angry and paranoid if someone did.
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Recite all the things I am grateful for.
Have you ever been on a boat?
I'm on a boat mutha-- yeah.
Last person you gave a hug to?
Not sure, I rarely hug. One of my friends OH! Ok I don't know.
Tell me about the shirt/shirts you’re wearing?
It's a shirt I bought at Movie World at Gold Coast, OZ. It has Marvin the Martian, and it's huge. I like how huge face or lack of it is plastered BAM in front.
When you are home alone do you still close the door when you shower?
My bathroom is in my room, I almost always never close the door. Like double security? No thank you, I am so bad ass B)
Do you have plans for today?
Nah, I go with the flow. ( I actually have no friends to hang out with and my family doesn't like to hang with me either)
When is the last time you took a nap?
A week ago maybe, I don't like naps.
What was on your mind most today?
SAT, and how I can't do bad this time and yes university applications.
Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
I don't hide them but I don't talk about it. Does that make sense?Yes it does.
What instant messaging service do you use?
It used to be MSN, but then Facebook chat came. TARAA
How long does it take for you to fall asleep at night?
Depends on how tired I am. Ranges from a split second to hours of rolling in the bed.
Do you have any siblings? Do you get along?
Yes, this is kind of redundant. We tolerate each other.
What are you drinking?
Long Island Tea ;) I kid, I'm not having a sip of fluid, currently.
Honestly, if you could go back 8 months and change something, would you?
Study more? Well if you asked 4 months then yes.
Do you know what you’re wearing tomorrow?
NO. Like heckk, I'm just going to stay at home. Oh wait, yeah I know what I'm wearing tomorrow, sadly.
Do you know anyone who smokes weed?
Yes, but I don't if that person smokes at a regular basis.
Did you get this quiz from www.FunQuizNotes.com ?
HO-YEAH.
I'm done :O That was---a waste of time but I am utterly satisfied in a guilty pleasure way.
Friday, November 25, 2011
People Y U NO WRITE?
So I'm looking at the blogs I follow, and most are yeap dead. But I don't blame them, my blog has been in a coma too and why I'm reviving it is mostly because I am procrastinating, HEHEHEH. Anyways, on my many occasions of pondering about deep serious issues, I wondered about the different types of people. This is based on personal experience and I am not a psychologist so yes, this is from the observation of an 18 year old girl.
I am a person who gets easily freaked by crowds; I loathe public speaking. Every time, I have to speak in class, even though I know these people, my stomach turns into knots. I don't know why my anxiety acts up. Maybe it's my self-esteem, but not really because I am comfortable with myself. I am quirky and some people might not like it, I accept. Maybe I'm very self-conscious when a bunch of eyes are scrutinizing the way I talk or stand. But when I'm talking to like one person or two, I'm fine. That's when I get really crazy and excited in talking. When I'm talking personally to people, I feel very comfortable but when I'm in a group it's very intimidating. Go figure.
Another theory as to why I'm like this, I feel like when I'm in a smaller group, one-to-one, I can get response and really listen to their opinion and then give my response. You can't do that with crowds, can ya? Except for 'Are you ready to partayy?'So, yes I am that girl who is very boisterous when you're alone with me and quiet in a group of people.
I envy people who are natural born speakers, can give the air of confidence when they're talking. Envy, envy, envy. I tried to practice my public speaking skills, well it has improved but eck, I'm not someone who you would listen to intently. I also envy people who are just plain friendly and nice; who are so comfortable with talking to anyone. I am awkward. If I don't feel comfortable with you, expect silence. Sometimes I just don't even want to talk to you, so I would not even fake that I'm interested. Yeah I'm not that nice. Maybe I need to work on my sincerity, then maybe I'll give out an aura of niceness haha and people would listen ?
That's all folk!
Stay tune for another round of mania!
I am a person who gets easily freaked by crowds; I loathe public speaking. Every time, I have to speak in class, even though I know these people, my stomach turns into knots. I don't know why my anxiety acts up. Maybe it's my self-esteem, but not really because I am comfortable with myself. I am quirky and some people might not like it, I accept. Maybe I'm very self-conscious when a bunch of eyes are scrutinizing the way I talk or stand. But when I'm talking to like one person or two, I'm fine. That's when I get really crazy and excited in talking. When I'm talking personally to people, I feel very comfortable but when I'm in a group it's very intimidating. Go figure.
Another theory as to why I'm like this, I feel like when I'm in a smaller group, one-to-one, I can get response and really listen to their opinion and then give my response. You can't do that with crowds, can ya? Except for 'Are you ready to partayy?'So, yes I am that girl who is very boisterous when you're alone with me and quiet in a group of people.
I envy people who are natural born speakers, can give the air of confidence when they're talking. Envy, envy, envy. I tried to practice my public speaking skills, well it has improved but eck, I'm not someone who you would listen to intently. I also envy people who are just plain friendly and nice; who are so comfortable with talking to anyone. I am awkward. If I don't feel comfortable with you, expect silence. Sometimes I just don't even want to talk to you, so I would not even fake that I'm interested. Yeah I'm not that nice. Maybe I need to work on my sincerity, then maybe I'll give out an aura of niceness haha and people would listen ?
That's all folk!
Stay tune for another round of mania!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
I'm liking what I'm hearing
I've been expose to awesome music lately. This is just a post to remind me all the things I liked.
A fun quirky catchy tune. It's just really upbeat, very easy listening.
MY SWAG SONG.
I actually really like this mash up. I like the fact it was a lot of stuff, I really like how they mixed the two songs and I never been a fan of mash up but zis iz nize.
My guilty pleasure, my wanted boys :3 It makes me wanna dance, but of course Glad You Came would always be my party anthem har har. But seriously Jay's voice, muy bien. J'adore!
If you have time, or bored out of your wits then have a listen. If you don't like it, you suck. Haha I kid. Kind of.
Adios amigos.
Always
Harry Potter is on the telly, The Sorcerer Stone. I always wondered why it wasn't Philosopher Stone. Anyways, it brings back a lot of good childhood memories :') Hogwarts, why art thou not real?
I wanted to write about Snape actually, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I can really relate to him and his officially my favorite character, no doubt. I like him because he is actually the ultimate good guy, even though he is not the nicest bloke to chat with but deep down he was always loyal. I find that very admirable.
He was alone in his missions, never really could talk to anyone being a double agent. I don't know, I think he has sacrificed a great deal, and I don't even think he is rewarded or appreciated for it. And he has his own tragic love story :C And you know I like tragic love stories, but Snape's story was just too UGH gut wrenching. I can't believe he died! All the accusations he had to face, all that hatred from people. Snape, you are the best. You are such a complex character and I applaud Rowling for creating such wonderful character. Snape's memories was one my favorite part of the book. I wished he did not have to go through all of that.
I just really like Snape, can't you tell. He is by far the bravest person in the book, and that book had a lot of courageous people. I don't like Harry Potter that much really. My mum said he is a sissy, I kind of agree.
I wanted to write about Snape actually, I don't know why. Maybe it's because I can really relate to him and his officially my favorite character, no doubt. I like him because he is actually the ultimate good guy, even though he is not the nicest bloke to chat with but deep down he was always loyal. I find that very admirable.
He was alone in his missions, never really could talk to anyone being a double agent. I don't know, I think he has sacrificed a great deal, and I don't even think he is rewarded or appreciated for it. And he has his own tragic love story :C And you know I like tragic love stories, but Snape's story was just too UGH gut wrenching. I can't believe he died! All the accusations he had to face, all that hatred from people. Snape, you are the best. You are such a complex character and I applaud Rowling for creating such wonderful character. Snape's memories was one my favorite part of the book. I wished he did not have to go through all of that.
I just really like Snape, can't you tell. He is by far the bravest person in the book, and that book had a lot of courageous people. I don't like Harry Potter that much really. My mum said he is a sissy, I kind of agree.
It's ok Snape, I despise everyone too.
Legal Beagle
I wish I could stop time, and always be a teenager.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Since I'm enjoying my Winter break.
This is my winter song to you.
It's just so relaxing and calming. I know it's suppose to be winter, but I feel like I'm floating on the ocean listening to this song. So if you need some music to escape your dreary life, or need a break a minute or two then be my guest and have a listen cause it's certainly worth listening to.
Ok, now I'm going to hit replay. BYE BYE.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I Love The Sing-Off
Dartmouth Aires are in the finals baby! I'm getting too emotionally attach to these guys :\ I mean, come on they are addictive especially if you're a girl. They are easy on the eyes, just sayin'. Besides that, they really put on a show. That's probably the main reason I like them. They're singing and performing these mini sketches. Love it! I hope they win but they're up against Pentatonix, who at first I didn't not like because I was a bias fan to the Aires but they're good. I'm not a fan of these dub step, techno thing but Pentatonix are good. Actually they are the main reason why I even watched The Sing-Off in the first place. I was youtube-ing as usual, and I came across The Trio's cover of Lady Gaga which I thought was AWESOME! So in the comments, it said that they were in The Sing-Off and tadaa I'm hooked :}
Can't wait for the finals! This week the Aires performed their usual high energy shows. I thought they took the judges critic about depth but maybe it was too much? I like it though, ain't complaining but not my favorite. Can't wait for their next performances though! AHHH One week, Y U SO LONG? And university application deadlines are nearer still haven't done anything! THIS IS FUN!
Can't wait for the finals! This week the Aires performed their usual high energy shows. I thought they took the judges critic about depth but maybe it was too much? I like it though, ain't complaining but not my favorite. Can't wait for their next performances though! AHHH One week, Y U SO LONG? And university application deadlines are nearer still haven't done anything! THIS IS FUN!
AWH MAAA
I'm going to die from this cuteness 8B AAAAAAHHH I can't exactly tell you what exactly cause I'll sound like an obsess fan girl, which I am but I prefer to pretend I'm not. Just here to release my emotions. Goodbye.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Say What?
Who's going to Foster the People's concert in Malaysia? I can't hear ye. Yes ME. HEHEHE. And no it's not because I like 'Pumped Up Kicks', I need a lot more than just a song to make want to pay for a concert. It's very rare for me to like a band, especially now when our radios are filled with Lil' Wayne's music and if it's not that than it will be an advert. Back to the People get it? I know, sorry lame. Their first album is Torches and I must say it is quite an exquisite work. Right-o chap. But seriously is good. Thumbs up, bravo, magnifico. If you have been following my blog, you know that I'm not a fan of this synthesizer music, techno computer sounding stuff, but these guys make it sound AWE-SOME. And they are amazing live! IMPOSING! HAHA. Can't vait :F ngehehehe. You can expect a blog about it :) MHMM. Yes, I'm back in action baby.
Mark Pontius, we should get married and have babies cause our babies will be BE YOO TI FFOOOL. I mean with your genes, they'll be supermodels! Unless my genes show up :B eh a risk worth taking !
Easier said than done
I really need to buck up. It's hard you know, I'm use to having things going my way. But now, it's like my work didn't pay off. As my father said, results depends on luck too. Well I know Maths has never been my forte but it's depressing to see your not improving. I did improve after the third test but it felt lucky. Sigh. The worst part is I'm not working hard now. I felt the disappointment of failure, and it sucks. I kept thinking to myself, if you're working and failing, you might as well not try at all; the results stay the same.
I know it's wrong, and I know many would say just study hard, you can do it. You see, it is easier said than done. Maybe my moping period has been long overdue, and I really hope it is not too late to pick myself up. I pray to God help me, but sometimes I feel like I only call on God when I'm in trouble. So I hoped and I pray that I would always praise Him. And I have caused my family a lot of pain, especially my parents. I've been impatient, and I hope God would give me the patience when I feel like I'm about to explode. As you can see, my life is turning up side down. I hope this will end soon, I pray that next year would be better. Yeah so I wrote this post to basically remind me that I'm very fortunate, and I should treasure every moment. I also have to learn to forgive and let go. Never hold grudges, and always try to mend things when you're at fault.
Wohoo, go mature me! Haha it's funny, I feel like I'm still the same 15 year old girl who started this blog. And I think I haven't changed that much. Maybe that's my problem, I'm far too childish. But I don't want to grow up. Let's see how future me would be. I really can't imagine myself as a grown up. I still look like I'm 12 so yeah.
I know it's wrong, and I know many would say just study hard, you can do it. You see, it is easier said than done. Maybe my moping period has been long overdue, and I really hope it is not too late to pick myself up. I pray to God help me, but sometimes I feel like I only call on God when I'm in trouble. So I hoped and I pray that I would always praise Him. And I have caused my family a lot of pain, especially my parents. I've been impatient, and I hope God would give me the patience when I feel like I'm about to explode. As you can see, my life is turning up side down. I hope this will end soon, I pray that next year would be better. Yeah so I wrote this post to basically remind me that I'm very fortunate, and I should treasure every moment. I also have to learn to forgive and let go. Never hold grudges, and always try to mend things when you're at fault.
Wohoo, go mature me! Haha it's funny, I feel like I'm still the same 15 year old girl who started this blog. And I think I haven't changed that much. Maybe that's my problem, I'm far too childish. But I don't want to grow up. Let's see how future me would be. I really can't imagine myself as a grown up. I still look like I'm 12 so yeah.
Henry so cute :3 hehe
These guys are just exploding with energy. Too bad I can't go to Dartmouth because I'm just too bloody lazy, and I should've worked harder. This is one of the sorrows I've been nursing. Yeah it pains me when people are like, why aren't you applying to this this uni? And I'm like well lady cause my brain can only go so far. Okay I won't say that, but people should stop asking that question. I realized the work you have to put in to go into these school, I underestimated it and I deserve the punishment. But maybe it is a blessing in disguise. But anyways, for people who didn't get Ivy league or feel you're not good enough, don't ever say that. It is hard work and luck. And I don't think people really know how hard the application is. So to my fellow people who are applying to the US, I feel ya bro. I feel ya.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Needed it
Just felt like I needed to write something :)
Dear lovely bloggy I miss you. You're like the guy best friend that I'm in love with but we're separated because of school and what not, and everytime I'm with you it's like the good old days. Forever alone moment.
Dear lovely bloggy I miss you. You're like the guy best friend that I'm in love with but we're separated because of school and what not, and everytime I'm with you it's like the good old days. Forever alone moment.
Precious, did you see them perform ignition? Adorable. Reminds me when I was obsessed with Only Men Aloud. Darn these male choir groups!! *shakes fist*
Sleeping (Optional)
Oh foolish heart, I have fallen again.
Yes, so I'm on my break. See if you're familiar with my blog then you would know I post a lot about guys that I like. SO, without further ado, here's another one :D
There's this a capella group competition called the sing-off; it is kind of like any other singing competition but a capella and in groups? ( cue the DUH). And you know how I like guys who can sing. Just imagine groups of guys singing in tune! *HOLY MOLEY MACARONI* I love the college groups. I am bias I must say. But they are so entertaining and funny. Bloody charming blokes.
Yes, so I'm on my break. See if you're familiar with my blog then you would know I post a lot about guys that I like. SO, without further ado, here's another one :D
There's this a capella group competition called the sing-off; it is kind of like any other singing competition but a capella and in groups? ( cue the DUH). And you know how I like guys who can sing. Just imagine groups of guys singing in tune! *HOLY MOLEY MACARONI* I love the college groups. I am bias I must say. But they are so entertaining and funny. Bloody charming blokes.
You know how I am so thug, the guy rapping would be my perfect match <3 Haha and he really looks cute with his green hoodie and cap :} I like him. Must find someone who's going to Dartmouth. We be so pimping together, our thug life and all.
Friday, November 11, 2011
TOEFL
Yeah it's been ages since I've blogged but I don't care. I need a place to release my anxiety. I didn't want to release on facebook because I don't feel comfortable with it HAHA. I know right. But anyways, tomorrow is my TOEFL test; I am super scared. LIKE MAJOR SCARED. My hands are shaking as we speak. The problem is, I am still not studying. I don't want to the exercise because it shows just how unprepared I am :S I really want to cry now. Okay, I'm going to buck and do the practice test.
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